Surviving an Apocalyptic Horror Night with Your Squad

Ever wonder what you’d do if vampires, werewolves, and a horde of zombies descended on your quiet little town? No? Well, after watching movies like The Monster Squad and The Lost Boys, you probably did.

This Halloween, we’re breaking down how you (yes, even you, the 40-something adult who hasn’t worked out in a while) can survive a full-blown, apocalyptic horror night with your squad. So, gather your friends, get creative, and let’s save the world.

Assemble the Squad: Roles and Strengths

First thing’s first: pick your squad wisely. Remember how, when you were 12, you and your friends would dream about fighting monsters? Same thing now, except you’re older, possibly slower, and a bit more strategic (hopefully).

The Strategist: This friend’s probably already mapping out escape routes in their head. Let them organize, but don’t let them bog things down with PowerPoints while vampires are knocking at the door.
The Muscle: Every squad needs someone who can push heavy furniture in front of the door or swing a bat. Pro Tip: make sure they’ve stretched first—no one wants a pulled hamstring mid-apocalypse.
The Medic: At 12, it was the friend whose mom was a nurse. Now, it’s whoever knows how to Google first aid or has a stash of ibuprofen.
The Gearhead: MacGyver incarnate. Give this friend any random tool, and they’ll make a weapon out of it. Leaf blower flamethrower, anyone?
The Techie: The video game expert who can hack or rig up surveillance cameras. Let them handle the tech, but make sure they’re not distracted by that level they’re trying to beat.
The Rudy (Cool Guy): This is your squad’s badass, the one who lights a cigarette while casually tossing holy water at vampires. They might not be the strongest, but they’ve got confidence in spades.

Pro Tip: Every squad is different, so choose carefully. And don’t be afraid to double up on roles if your team is short on players—just don’t pick someone who couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag to be your strategist.

Battle the Monsters: Know Your Enemy

What kind of night are you in? Are we talking The Monster Squad with one chance to save the world, or The Lost Boys where the vampires are slowly taking over the town? Let’s break it down:

Vampires: Charming but deadly. Avoid bite zones and arm yourself with garlic, wooden stakes, and holy water. Always be careful who you invite inside.
Werewolves: Full moon, full problem. Silver’s your best friend, whether it’s a bullet, knife, or even silverware taped to your fists.
Zombies: Slow, dumb, but relentless. Blunt-force weapons to the head, and stay quiet to avoid attracting more.
Demons/Paranormal Creatures: Salt lines and holy water are your go-tos. Also, avoid getting mind-messed—they play dirty.

Building a Safe Base: Securing Your Hangout Spot

Every good horror squad has a base, whether it’s a treehouse, abandoned building, or your best friend’s basement. The key is to make it a fortress.

Lock Down Windows and Doors: Werewolves don’t knock. Lock everything, reinforce the flimsy stuff, and for zombies, board up those windows.
Barricade the Entry Points: Move whatever you’ve got—couches, chairs, your treadmill—and block off any entry point. Extra points if you’ve got metal bars or reinforced doors.
Lookout Point: Set up a lookout (preferably with binoculars), and take shifts. No one can stay up all night without turning into a zombie themselves.
Makeshift Alarms: Get creative. Tie cans to string, set up motion-sensor lights—anything to alert you when something’s lurking.
Safe Retreat: Always have an escape plan. Rope ladders out windows, secret exits—know how to get out when things go sideways.

The Local Hangouts: When Your Friendly Drive-In Becomes a Danger Zone

The local hangouts you used to love? Now they’re battlegrounds. Whether it’s a diner, strip mall, or even the boardwalk, these spots can become dangerous real quick.

The Diner: Kitchen tools become weapons, but food is limited. Barricade, use what’s on hand, and hunker down.
The Strip Mall: Loaded with gear—sports equipment, tools, and even the odd hunting store. Use what’s available to build weapons.
The Boardwalk: Fun while it lasts, but hard to defend. Use your knowledge of the place to escape or defend.
Gas Station: Full of potential supplies like fuel, snacks, and tools. It’s a quick stop for refueling but not a long-term safe haven.

Arm the Squad: DIY Weapons and Tools

You probably don’t have a military-grade arsenal in your basement, but don’t worry. You can turn just about anything into a weapon if you’re creative enough.

Bats, Hammers, and Crowbars: Your go-to blunt force weapons. No reloading required.
Spray Bottles with Vinegar or Salt Water: Perfect for ghosts and demons. Just don’t run out mid-fight.
Flashlights and Strobe Lights: Blind your enemies—especially vampires and werewolves.
Simple Traps: Tripwires, noise alarms, anything that slows down your enemies long enough for you to make a move.

The Power of Pets: How Dogs and Animals Sense the Supernatural First

Don’t forget about your trusty pet. Like Nanook in The Lost Boys, animals sense supernatural threats before we do. Whether it’s barking at nothing or avoiding certain areas, trust your pet’s instincts—they might just save your life.

Utilizing Experts: The Frog Brothers and the Scary German Guy

In The Lost Boys, the Frog Brothers are comic book experts-turned-vampire hunters. In The Monster Squad, the scary German guy knows the ancient rituals to defeat the monsters. Your small town might have a few eccentric locals who know a thing or two about the supernatural. Seek them out.

Military Veterans, Folklore Buffs, Conspiracy Theorists: They might just have the skills or knowledge to help you out. Don’t be afraid to ask around—someone in your town has probably been prepping for this moment their whole life.

Knowledge is Power: Using Books, Literature, and Comics

Never underestimate the power of books and comics. In The Lost Boys, the Frog Brothers get all their vampire knowledge from comic books, and in The Monster Squad, Van Helsing’s diary holds the key to saving the world.

Survival Tactics and Mythology: Start building your weird survival library. From cryptozoology to occult handbooks, you never know what info might come in handy.

Survival on the Move: Evading Pursuit

When things get too hot, sometimes you’ve just got to move fast. Whether it’s vampires, werewolves, or zombies on your tail, keep these tips in mind:

Move in Silence: Quiet shoes, no clomping around, and keep conversations to a minimum.
Stick Together: Splitting up is a death sentence. Stay close to your squad.
Use the Terrain: Trees, alleyways, anything to break line of sight. Stay out of open areas.
Create Distractions: Throw a rock, knock over a trash can—anything to make the monster look the other way.

Prepping for the Final Boss: Montage Moment

Every great horror movie has that classic montage where the squad preps for the big showdown. You’re gathering stakes, filling squirt guns with holy water, and getting ready for the ultimate fight. Crank up the 80s music, and get your team hyped.

Final Thoughts: The Thrill of Childhood Imagination

Remember when you were 12, and it seemed possible that vampires, werewolves, and supernatural forces could be lurking outside your window? Maybe you and your friends were the only ones who could stop them. Those movies added a sense of magic and mystery to life. And even now, as adults, there’s something thrilling about imagining what you’d do in a real-life monster showdown.

So, what would you do if the world needed you and your friends? How would you survive a night filled with monsters, mysteries, and mayhem?

Want to hear more? Tune in to the full episode and get the complete guide to surviving your apocalyptic horror night.

STAY SURVIVED.